A Love Never Thought
by scifigrl0
Summary: My first gh fic. Posted a second chapter betaed by suerum .Show, Characters, ect. are not mine.
1. A Love Never Thought

As Jason stood there watching Spinelli sleep he could not help but think of how he got here. Years ago, when Lulu stood at his door with the spazzy computer whiz asking him to take the kid in , he never for a second thought that one day the kid would become one of the most important people in his life. At first he could hardly stand the geek. The day he discovered Spinelli using drugs in his house was almost the end of his stay.

Yet, as time passed and the kid stood by him though all the crazy thing life threw at them he began to respect and even like the hacker. When Jason found out that Elizabeth was carrying his baby, fearful of what his closest friends would say, he told no one. When Spinelli learned about the baby he was surprised at how strongly the kid had felt about him giving the child up. Even though Spinelli did not agree with him, he respected his decision and told no one. He even held his peace when Sonny attempted to coerce the information from him.

Spinelli was there through his break up with Sam, even though he had pushed him to tell her the truth from the start. He had also encouraged Jason to try making a family with Elizabeth. Yet, he never expected to feel what he did when he saw Spinelli holding his son for the first time. It was only overshadowed by how he felt holding Jake himself and by seeing Elizabeth holding Jake.

More time passed and Spinelli stayed sleeping in the pink room while becoming his friend. He stayed through Jason's attempt at a relationship with Elizabeth and the downward spiral of his friendship with Sonny. Through the death and danger that was Jason's life, Spinelli remained steadfast. It turned out that without his realizing it-the kid had become his best friend. Jason could hardly remember a time that Spinelli was not there.

Over the years he watched as the kid fell for girl after girl only to always be placed in the thankless role of a guy friend. Somehow the kid seemed to think that Jason had all the magic answers about to how to get a girl. Still, Jason never stopped to think about why he was always glad when nothing happened, leaving Spinelli more time to be at his beck and call.

Then one day as he was pulling away from their building there was a sudden explosion. His heart stopped for almost an entire minute. He looked up to see a ragged hole in place of their apartment. For a brief moment he could not even recall if Spinelli had been at home. Then he almost threw up when he remembered that Spinelli had been on his way up when Jason was leaving.

The next thing Jason could remember was being at the hospital and watching Spinelli lying in a hospital bed, Spinelli was so still and pale that it terrified him. That's when everything changed because for the first time instead of wanting to push the person he loved away to keep him safe, all he could think about doing was pulling him close and not letting anything or anyone near his Spinelli. So, now here Jason is standing watching Spinelli sleep in their bed in their new home, and he can not help but think that this was one thing he never saw coming that day all those years ago.


	2. Through Spinelli’s eyes

Through Spinelli's eyes

Jason was watching him again. It was almost as though he believed that if he looked away the Jackal would disappear. As Spinelli lay unmoving in their bed he thought back over their shared history. He knows Jason likes to think that their life together started the day Lulu brought him to live with his mentor. Yet, Spinelli thinks of before that event back to a day when if things had gone differently then his whole life would have been altered. He can not help but think that day in the warehouse where he was imprisoned with Lulu is when his life truly changed.

In Spinelli's mind his actions that day are unforgivable and no matter what he has done since he will always carry the shame of leaving Jason and Lulu there to die. He knows that he was afraid for his life and can probably convince himself that leaving his mentor there was excusable because at the time Jason was one of the people after him. Yet, the Blonde One was merely an innocent bystander. She had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time and suddenly there were people trying to kill her.

At the time he thought he did what anyone would do. Still, in the years since the Jackal had discovered someone who would never leave a young girl to die. Stone Cold, the master to his humble grasshopper, wouldn't have left her there vulnerable and afraid. So, Spinelli lives with this shame hoping that one day he will be forgiven for his act of cowardice and that most importantly he can forgive himself.

He knows no one would believe it but when he found Jason and Lulu in his Grandmother's house a part of him was relieved. They came to take him away from his prior life of underachievement and brought him into a place full of hope and possibility.

The Jackal knows that the Blonde One only found him a place to stay because of what he could do for her and not because she felt friendship towards him. At first he did not think he could live with the mob enforcer but the Goddess was there and he also had a little something to help him relax. It puzzled Spinelli to no end as to why someone as beautiful as the Goddess would want to have a baby, especially if it meant making a child with the Stone Cold one.

Gradually the Jackal began to see those rare moments when Jason had his mask down and revealed that he was just a guy in love with the Goddess. Soon Spinelli came to recognize that Stone Cold was someone almost like himself-a person with talents that people used him for without regard to his needs or desires. It was always a case of what could Jason do for them this time. Mr. Sir used Stone Cold to enforce his will without reference to Jason's soul. The Valkyrie, though claiming to be one of his master's best friends, always came saying, "Jason I need you". She never came to see if Jason was the one in need of something. When he would tell Carly not to get involved or to interfere because he was scared for her or because she would cause problems, she always ignored his advice and went ahead anyway. Even the Goddess manipulated Stone Cold in her quest to get the baby she so wanted.

When Jason found him taking drugs he made it clear that if the Jackal wanted to stay under his roof that he was not to use. The Jackal did not want to leave even if his room was an obnoxious pink color. Thankful for a place to live, Spinelli wished to repay his mentor. Thus, he called upon what the Jackal did best and offered his almost god-like cyber skills in service to Stone Cold. He was determined to prove to Stone Cold that he was reliable and would not abandon him in the mist of a crisis.

As his respect and admiration for Jason grew so too did his feelings for the Blonde One. Yet, the Jackal was not good with personal relationships and never knew how to get the girl. Spinelli had seen that many beautiful women were in love with Stone Cold including the ones that he had loved and lost. So, he reasoned that Jason must know the way to win the Blond One's heart. Therefore, the Jackal asked for and closely listened to his master's advice. Alas, he still could not manage to make his heart's desire fall in love with him...

While trying to prove his worth to Jason he discovered the paternity test which named Stone Cold as the father of Fair Elizabeth's as yet unborn child. When Jason found out that the Jackal knew his secret, he asked his grasshopper not to tell anyone. Stone Cold, out of respect for the Maternal One's wishes and fear for the safety of the Innocent One, agreed not to name the child as his own. His grasshopper would honor his masters choice. Still, now that he recognized the kind of person Stone Cold truly was Spinelli could visualize no better parent than Jason.

The Jackal knew that if the child was a boy Jason would have raised him to be an amazing man who would be full of respect, loyalty, and kindness. If it was a girl she would be strong, graceful, and independent. Both would have grown up safely cradled in the knowledge of the love their father bore for them. Carrying this awareness, this truth within his heart pushed Spinelli to encourage his master towards claiming his parentage of the Innocent One. Also, he wanted Jason to tell the Goddess about the baby. He was firmly convinced that she would love the child as her own. Yet, his master refused his counsel on both accords. So, the Jackal agreed to do as Stone Cold wished and closely guarded the secret of the Innocent One.

The Jackal feared for his safety when Mr. Sir threatened him in order to get him to reveal Jason's secret to him. For once Spinelli's unique way of communicating, of speaking in obscure terms came to his aid and even managed to protect him from Sonny's wrath, his hatred of the young man. He talked quickly and used mythological references that frustrated and confused Mr. Sir without in any way enlightening him. Sonny was irritated with Spinelli and was intimidating him with a sharp lethal looking letter opener. Then, to the Jackal's intense relief and gratitude, Stone Cold came into the office and extricated him from the awkward and uncomfortable situation.

The Jackal knew, even as he uttered his excuse as to why Sonny had the letter opener in his hand, that it was not a very believable tale. As much as he had been stressed by the conversation, Spinelli realized that Mr. Sir had once been the master to Stone Cold's grasshopper. He had no desire to put any additional strain on their already fractured relationship.

Throughout Elizabeth's pregnancy the Jackal could see how much pain his master was feeling. Spinelli knew Jason loved the child and that it was difficult for him not to share in the process as the child grew within the womb. Additionally, Jason was mourning the loss of his own father and was feeling the strain of lying to the Goddess. In an attempt to lessen his mentor's pain the Jackal used his hacking skills to let Jason be part of the Innocent One's development. He showed him sonogram pictures and discovered the child's due date.

When Spinelli saw the Innocent One for the first time he could not help but be in awe. This perfect little baby boy was part of Stone Cold. The first time he held Jake he knew he loved the child and would do anything to make sure he was safe and happy. The Jackal would do all he could to ensure that the Innocent One would indeed remain innocent for as long as possible.

Once the truth of Jake's parentage was exposed it inevitably led down the path of Stone Cold's and Sam's relationship deteriorating and finally dissolving all together. Spinelli recognized that the darkness was about to draw Jason in and appreciated that now, at this moment in time, was when his master had the most need of him. The Jackal vowed that he would stand by Stone Cold for as long as he would be allowed. On the day he realized that Stone Cold thought of him as a friend he became determined to be truly worthy of such a gift.

After Jason and Sam broke up he encouraged his master to try and make a life with Fair Elizabeth. Jason at first refused to risk a relationship with the mother of his son and so the Maternal One once again wed the Blonde One's brother. After their marriage failed yet again, Stone Cold at last attempted a relationship with Elizabeth but it did not succeed. The Jackal was beginning to fear that his master would never truly be happy.

Over time, their lives persistently involved one crisis after the next. Meanwhile, the Jackal continued to have no luck with the fairer sex. Once Spinelli did succeed at winning the girl but he was unaware of doing so until it was too late. Mostly though, he only could manage to make his heart's desire see him solely as a good friend. The bright side of being unencumbered by a relationship was that he did not need to cause someone pain when he went to answer his mentor's summons. The Jackal would always be there when Stone Cold called.

It was a day no different from any other. Spinelli was on his way up to the penthouse. He had seen Stone Cold leaving and did not think much about it. Looking back he believes he remembers hearing the explosion but he can not even be sure of that. All he knows is that the bomb went off before he made it into the apartment which is the reason he survived.

When the Jackal first awoke he hurt everywhere. Strangely enough, in his mind he thought that to be a good sign. If it his body hurt that meant it was still working. It's when you stop feeling pain that you really need to start to worry. When he regained his senses he started to panic. He knew what happened when someone Stone Cold cared for was hurt. Jason would feel that by not keeping his grasshopper safe he had failed him and he would push Spinelli away saying it was for his own good.

He didn't know what he would do if that happened because his life was so entwined with Jason's. Spinelli began to hyperventilate at the thought of his potential abandonment. Stone Cold was the center of his world. He had been Jason's for so long he did not know how to be or do anything else. He had never counted on falling in love with Stone Cold. Where would he go now and even more importantly what would become of his master if he was forced to leave? Without his grasshopper next to him there would be no one to shield him from the darkness.

Spinelli felt hands on him holding him and stroking his hair. A familiar voice was speaking to him, telling him that he was safe and that he would make sure everything was going to be all right. The Jackal realized that Jason was there, was soothing him but that only made things worse. Spinelli grabbed Stone Cold and held on for all he was worth. He was petrified that Stone Cold was going to leave him. Then he heard what Jason was saying, heard him promising to stay and that they would get a new place, something more suited to both of them. He assured Spinelli that no one would ever take the Jackal from him. Knowing that Jason would not lie to him, he finally relaxed. All of Spinelli's energy was drained from him and he fell asleep with Stone Cold running his hand comfortingly through his hair.

Now as he lay here in their bed, he looks up to where Jason is standing watching him.

"Are you coming to bed? " He inquires.

Moving closer to him, Stone Cold responded, "Yes, I just wanted to remember you like this."

With Stone Cold curled up behind him, the Jackal is glad that he need never know what his life would be like if things had not worked out the way they did beginning that day in the warehouse.


End file.
